Time to start writing again. Made a lot of changes lately, and I think this is going to be one of the things that I can start doing to keep myself occupied.
You see, dear reader, I quit smoking. Not quitting, not trying to quit, I’ve quit. This is no longer a habit that will control me.
I’ve been smoking for 20 years, ever since I got into the army. Sure, I dabbled before then, but it was the army that did it as a full time habit. It isn’t that I was encouraged (in fact, it was recommended that I knock it off) but it just sort of fell in that way and I acquired the habit.
Through poor economic conditions I managed to maintain the habit. It would wax and wane, I would smoke expensive imports and cheap dollar packs. Recently I had even been experimenting with flavoring my own tobacco and rolling my own, designer cancer sticks to personal spec. I’ve always considerd smoking to be my last vice.
Now its over, I’m giving it up. I’ll make the change a more positive one, to distract me from these cravings (and man, they are bad, and they are getting worse) I’ve thrown myself into exercise and general cleanup of my apartment, moving things just to move them and stacking things in new stacks, playing the guitar, annoying the cat with the cello, generally just trying to keep my hands busy so they don’t start clawing the walls in search of inhalable nicotiene.
I will get through this.
And, just so you aren’t worried, this isn’t going to be some sort of anti smoking evangelism. Like any other form of chemical entertainment, I assume that (at least if you are an adult) you are perfectly free to make your own decisions, I’ll think no better or less of you should you continue to pursue the habit.
Meanwhile, I’ll just keep the mind focused, if a little on the ADHD side. I can’t seem to keep performing the same ask for any serious length of time (I’ve had to get up three times to do something else while typing this out so far) but I haven’t had any problem in pipelining these tasks. Maybe this week I’ll see how many tasks I can put on the buffer, it will be amusing to see just when I lose the pointer and where it ends up in my own memory hyperspace. I’ll safely segfault in my own apartment!
This is the last I’ll discourse on this subject, just wanted to get it out of the way and explain a bit on my rationale for writing again….gotta keep the fingers busy lest I crack.