Okay, sure, you leased a server four years ago. Back then it was top notch, the bee's knees, high speed low drag and you made money hand over fist with cheap webhosting and obnoxious data storage fees.
And it was fun! You had a nice little "web interface", as you like to call it, that allowed you to manage your 200 accounts. But now the joy has faded. You don't have PHP. Sendmail is woefully out of date. Your kernel hasn't been updated since you got the thing.
Is it my fault Sun Microsystems no longer supports your puny machine? Is it my task to write for you a series of kernel updates, so that you are no longer the victim of script kiddies and security holes that have not been patched for you?
No, I'm sorry. I cannot do these things for you. The cheap server you leased so long ago has not aged well, and your feeble attempts to upgrade the beast have failed miserably, and in fact has broken the webserver.
Am I your servers keeper? I do not know what you have done. You have installed things that have powers beyond your control, and they have brought the wrath of the Four Horsemen of the Upgrade: Misconfiguration, Version Mismatch, Database Corruption, and Death. You have broken the seal and allowed these fell riders to corrupt your system, all because you think you know what your are doing, and you felt the cold grip of age's tendrils caressing your server, flipping the bits one by one into nothingness, and you were desperate.
Entropy increases. Avoid.
So now you come to me for wisdom and guidance. And I say to you these dread words that will chill your bones to their very core, and you will froth and rant and tell me that I am stupid. You will tell me that you are smarter than I am, but am I not the System Administrator? Are you not calling me? I did not call you for sage advice, you called me in a panic, fretting about the massive hemmorage of residual income that you feel entitled to perpetuity.
I must now speak the words. Doom shall be upon you.
«B»«I»Unsupported.«/I»«/B»
Now GO, and trouble me no more.
This is brilliant. I found you linked at gutrumbles.com. I'm an SA and I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to throw people out of my office---ok, cube---because they wanted me to waste time supporting crap.