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Women of childbearing age, take note: I can corrupt your children in less than two hours. The evidence?
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With my sophisticated brainwashing techniques, I can control your spawn at a distance of nearly 10 meters. This is accomplished by uttering a series of code phrases, in this case "show mommy what a zombie does". The subject will then immediately act like a zombie and begin to pursue brains.
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Be safe! Be alert! Keep all children indoors or placed in a secured container while my presence is near. I «b»will«/b» use my powers to corrupt the young. You have been warned!
2 hours? Amatuer.
Of course, having my own kid means I get more practice.
Well, the two hours was spent watching "Day of the Dead", so most of it was wasted.